Wyatt

A Very Personal Story

By LINDSAY FRICKS

I have started and stopped this blog post no less than 100 times over the last five years. This is very personal and raw still years later. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the right words to express my emotions on this topic, but I’m going to take a deep breath and begin to write again.

 

Five years ago today, October 3rd, was one of the best days I’ve ever had. My brother and his family were visiting Arizona. His little twin boys, Sawyer and Wyatt, were three and my sweet niece, Kiera, was six years old. We played all day in the pool, laughing and splashing until we were exhausted. Then we packed the kids up to go see Scott, my ex-husband, at the firefighter training facility. We rode on the firetruck and even sprayed the fire hose. It was one of those incredible days you go to sleep pinching yourself about how sweet life can be.

October 4th started much the same way. Breakfast cooked by Ome and Papa, playing, reconnecting and chatting about future plans while lounging around the pool. That all changed in an instant when suddenly we couldn’t find Wyatt. He’d wanted to swim, but changed his mind and decided to go play with his trucks…and then poof he was gone. We soon discovered that he was at the bottom of the pool. The same small backyard pool where his parents, grandfather, Aunt, Uncle and sister were surrounding at the very same moment. Scott, who as a firefighter is trained for these scenarios, immediately rescued Wyatt and began CPR. The heroic efforts to save Wyatt were unsuccessful and on October 6th he left the earth forever. 

Not a single birthday, holiday, anniversary or day passes that Wyatt isn’t in my thoughts. At times, the pain of missing someone who should be here and wondering what could have been is overwhelming. Coming up on such a large milestone like five years is something I want to recognize and honor. So this week I am sharing the top five life lessons that losing Wyatt has taught me.  

First and foremost, our community must rethink water safety. In reflection of the day of Wyatt’s accident, we thought we were doing everything right, but still something went terribly wrong. I see lots of parents posting about infant survival and swim lessons. I can’t help but wish they knew it’s not enough. I highly suggest everyone who knows a child (hint: that’s you) reads this article from top to bottom. Share it with anyone you know that has children. Implement it line for line. It might seem overly cautious or impractical, but I know if I had read and implemented this effectively Wyatt would still be here.

Second, things don’t always happen for the best, but sometimes we can make the best out of what’s happened. My family is a prime example of this statement…especially my brother, Anthony, and his family. We all grieved deeply, but we never stopped swimming. We’ve challenged ourselves to continue to experience the joy of life, traveling and occasionally jumping in the deep blue. It doesn’t lessen the pain of our loss, but we know that the way we honor Wyatt best is by making our lives as full as they possibly can be. 

Third, there’s always a silver lining as long as you’re looking for it. I feel a twinge of guilt to admit this, but my life is better since Wyatt passed. There was power in experiencing my worst nightmare and surviving. I have this tremendous opportunity to live the biggest, best and grandest life in his honor. I have made really tough decisions and dramatic changes my life over the last five years. This has led me to the happiest, most content and authentic version of myself I’ve ever been. I’ve developed deeper and stronger connections with people. I empathize with the depth of despair when others are suffering. I am acutely aware of how finite life is. Don’t get me wrong, I would trade every good thing in the last five years for even one more day with Wyatt, but I’ll take whatever silver linings I can find. 

Fourth, spend it while you’re here. Jason regularly hears me say “you can’t take it with you.” Within reason, I generally spare no expense to max out on fun. Creating memories with the people I love is my number one priority. I spent my entire 20’s worried about my maxing out my 401k and keeping my pension job. My 30’s I’ve learned to say yes more and figure out how to pay for it later. Funny thing is I’ve also made a ton more money and have more in savings with this approach. 

Lastly, do something that scares you everyday. Getting out of your comfort zone is scary, but that’s where the growth lies. I completely overhauled my life and it was scary as hell. I’ve jumped out of a helicopter over the Swiss Alps. I’ve filmed live videos without makeup on for crying out loud. Now I recognize where there’s fear there’s also some gold on the other side.  Suck it up, put on your big girl panties and lean into what scares you.

Have you had a terrible tragedy that changed the course of your life? What are the lessons and blessings you’ve found in the years since? I still miss Wyatt deeply, but I know he would be proud of me and how I am living my life in his honor.

Lindsay Fricks- Helping you, your family and friends Live and Love in Arizona!

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14 Comments

  1. Jenn

    So beautifully written, Lindsay. THANK YOU for being vulnerable and having the courage to share this with us! Xo…

  2. Kelli Neil

    Lindsay,
    Sending all my love. I think you honor Wyatt every day by living and loving life to the fullest. You are a gem. Thank you for sharing. ❤️❤️❤️

  3. Ronda O’Leary

    Wow, there is such tremendous pain and wisdom in this beautifully written post, Lindsay; it illustrates the vulnerable, raw courage inside of you, dear one. My hope is that in sharing about this tragic day, we will all take heed, in protecting the children in our lives, and in never taking one day of life for granted. Sending my prayers and love to you, to Anthony, and to all of your precious family today♥️

  4. Sarah Gavigan

    Thank you for sharing such an intimate story. I think of Wyatt often. These lessons are a great reminder of this one short life. Xoxo

  5. Charlie Tombazian

    Touching Lindsay, had no idea you and your family suffered this trauma. My thoughts are with you as you process, evaluate, see the positives and come out the other side feeling better. True strength!

  6. Amber

    Lindsay,
    After reading this, I am certain that every iteration you carefully crafted was completely perfect. Your experience is so raw, but a loving expression of a situation so painful, yet so relatable, to those of us who’ve never experienced such a tragedy. Thank you for opening up. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for reminding us how sacred and precious every moment on this earth is. Lastly, thank you for giving us permission to enjoy life and release the burden of guilt for personal tragedies, shortcomings, and losses. Thank you, Wyatt, for your time on this earth and all of the love you’ve passed to several humans who’ve needed your touch.

  7. Cortney

    ❤️❤️❤️

    1. Lindsay Fricks

      Thanks Cort! XOXO

  8. James Madison

    Thank you for sharing your pain and the wisdom that has come from it. God can use all trials for the good of others and you story will surely help many. Your bravery, courage and vulnerability are a beautiful gift to us all. I pray continued healing for you and your family.

    1. Lindsay Fricks

      Thank you for your kind words and support, James!

  9. Aliscia

    Thank you for sharing this. I always remember Wyatt even though I did not know him personally when my kid’s are swimming. I know that 100 pairs of eyes are still not enough!! Sending you love always. Miss you my friend💕💕😘

    1. Lindsay Fricks

      Thank you friend! I hope you’re well! XOXO

  10. Papin

    Lindsay – you are so right about leaning in, do something that scares you everyday. Thank you and your family for the words that have taken so long to sort through and finally share. I guarantee your right he would be so proud of you. “Love is easy, share it”….

    1. Lindsay Fricks

      Thanks for reading and your kind words, Jeff! It means so much to me!

Comments are closed.

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