October 4th started much the same way. Breakfast cooked by Ome and Papa, playing, reconnecting and chatting about future plans while lounging around the pool. That all changed in an instant when suddenly we couldn’t find Wyatt. He’d wanted to swim, but changed his mind and decided to go play with his trucks…and then poof he was gone. We soon discovered that he was at the bottom of the pool. The same small backyard pool where his parents, grandfather, Aunt, Uncle and sister were surrounding at the very same moment. Scott, who as a firefighter is trained for these scenarios, immediately rescued Wyatt and began CPR. The heroic efforts to save Wyatt were unsuccessful and on October 6th he left the earth forever. 

Not a single birthday, holiday, anniversary or day passes that Wyatt isn’t in my thoughts. At times, the pain of missing someone who should be here and wondering what could have been is overwhelming. Coming up on such a large milestone like five years is something I want to recognize and honor. So this week I am sharing the top five life lessons that losing Wyatt has taught me.  

First and foremost, our community must rethink water safety. In reflection of the day of Wyatt’s accident, we thought we were doing everything right, but still something went terribly wrong. I see lots of parents posting about infant survival and swim lessons. I can’t help but wish they knew it’s not enough. I highly suggest everyone who knows a child (hint: that’s you) reads this article from top to bottom. Share it with anyone you know that has children. Implement it line for line. It might seem overly cautious or impractical, but I know if I had read and implemented this effectively Wyatt would still be here.

Second, things don’t always happen for the best, but sometimes we can make the best out of what’s happened. My family is a prime example of this statement…especially my brother, Anthony, and his family. We all grieved deeply, but we never stopped swimming. We’ve challenged ourselves to continue to experience the joy of life, traveling and occasionally jumping in the deep blue. It doesn’t lessen the pain of our loss, but we know that the way we honor Wyatt best is by making our lives as full as they possibly can be. 

Third, there’s always a silver lining as long as you’re looking for it. I feel a twinge of guilt to admit this, but my life is better since Wyatt passed. There was power in experiencing my worst nightmare and surviving. I have this tremendous opportunity to live the biggest, best and grandest life in his honor. I have made really tough decisions and dramatic changes my life over the last five years. This has led me to the happiest, most content and authentic version of myself I’ve ever been. I’ve developed deeper and stronger connections with people. I empathize with the depth of despair when others are suffering. I am acutely aware of how finite life is. Don’t get me wrong, I would trade every good thing in the last five years for even one more day with Wyatt, but I’ll take whatever silver linings I can find. 

Fourth, spend it while you’re here. Jason regularly hears me say “you can’t take it with you.” Within reason, I generally spare no expense to max out on fun. Creating memories with the people I love is my number one priority. I spent my entire 20’s worried about my maxing out my 401k and keeping my pension job. My 30’s I’ve learned to say yes more and figure out how to pay for it later. Funny thing is I’ve also made a ton more money and have more in savings with this approach. 

Lastly, do something that scares you everyday. Getting out of your comfort zone is scary, but that’s where the growth lies. I completely overhauled my life and it was scary as hell. I’ve jumped out of a helicopter over the Swiss Alps. I’ve filmed live videos without makeup on for crying out loud. Now I recognize where there’s fear there’s also some gold on the other side.  Suck it up, put on your big girl panties and lean into what scares you.

Have you had a terrible tragedy that changed the course of your life? What are the lessons and blessings you’ve found in the years since? I still miss Wyatt deeply, but I know he would be proud of me and how I am living my life in his honor.

Lindsay Fricks- Helping you, your family and friends Live and Love in Arizona!